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Saturday, 17 October 2009

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

  • okay so i made a huge mistake. i never should have returned to pa.. i want to leave again but again i am stuck here for the moment. if i would go back right now if i would have a place to live. i feel like taking a vow of silence and living in a temple with monks in a distant country. i have changed so much since the military some of it good but most of it is not. im not happy though i do get my spurts every now and then. why do people have to be so damn serious all the time. life is short yet still people spend it not being true to themselves. well im sick of it why am i a slave to this system. why are there so many rules and regulations to abide by. .....

    not haveing the best night tonight. words were spoken and unspoken... people freak out over nothing... people dont speak truths... people need to be true  ... i cant handle any more fake people.. i cant take lies. i dont want any more deceit.  

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Monday, 10 August 2009

  • so im feeling really good today. i am not sure where its coming from but there is much enjoyment in it. i see where i want to go and what i want  to take along the way. there is no doubt that i will get what i am looking for. im sure they might be some down times while undertaking all that i plan to but if it all in the end leads to what my goals are right now then its so worth the hassles. its worth any if i am lucky enough to obtain it.  ^_^

Sunday, 28 June 2009

  • can you feel yourself evolving...

    through all the years i have saw in myself the changes that come in experiencing life. weather it be in actions i make or in people i meet. it brings forth choices, decisions i must make to go forward. it seems to be a cycle of my life that after a few years i look inside myself at everything i have done and where these choices lead me to be today. but unlike the times before i sense a power with in me, a knowledge of what i want to accomplish in the years to come. i have reawaken myself the me i choose to push aside all those years ago. the i which inspired me to do the things i feel best doing.

    within the past two years i stopped thinking for myself (not fully mind you). i would dictate my life around those i cared a lot about. now i wasn't forced to do this it was mainly me trying a different approach at my life. for a while things like this made me feel slightly happier. i felt included to an extent but worst of all i began to feel used. used by those i cared about and who i thought cared about me. as i do indeed know, life is only what you perceive it to be. i now see that i have been manipulating myself since 2005/2006. i made myself think so wrongly on others intentions that i became blinded and i could not see the truth. i started to become all the things i don't think so highly of.

    with great discovery comes great change, i am oh so glad to have figured it all out this soon rather than a several more years down the line. my detail to some memories lead me to over think many situations in these years, but it was all fate. i'm not sure where i would have been if i didn't make the choice to leave and join the military. maybe i would have been in a happy life with a person special to me like many of the people i grew up with. or maybe i would be in the same shoes as my family members. but i made my choices and was lead to arizona where i have begun to understand my actions weather they are in thought or physical movements.

    by this time next week i will be living back in PA. i already have a few trips planned and in mind for my return. i am looking forward to my camping trip on the 10th it is sure to be fun. two nights with good friends camping and connecting. getting back to who i am as a person can be that much easier with awesome friends like them. i wouldn't give them up for anything in the world.

    [well that is all for now working and i got some stuff to do]

     

    Namaste

the_thoughts_between

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    • Name: the_thoughts_between
    • Birthday: 12/6/1985
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/29/2008

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About Me

  • i never know quite what to say when people ask to hear about me. i think words don't say enough about a person there actions make them and can tell you so much about a person.. but here i go anyway. i am 23 in love with nature and music. i live to be free. i hike, rock climb, swim, dance and sing. i love working out taking pictures and playing like a kid. i feel everyone should follow there heart and not worry about what others will think. i hate being picked on and made fun of its not cool but i never show my discomfort. i love people even though most of them are hopeless. well im just me and again i rather people get to know me rather than me talk about myself..

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